Penn State

Penn State is my heart. That is what happens when you marry into the sort of alumni fandom that Steve displayed so proudly. He loved that school more than anything. So did I. I’ve probably spent more time in State College in the past 10 years than I have at my own college campus (which is 15 minutes away). I’ve attended football games, tailgated in sub-freezing temperatures, eaten ice cream at the creamery and posed for more pictures riding the Nittany lion than I can count. The view of Mt. Nittany from Loryn’s parent’s back deck is my most favorite view in the world. I hiked it in the heat of summer to scatter Steve’s ashes at the top, making sure they were overlooking Beaver Stadium. Its the wallpaper on my laptop and my phone. I’ve planned on both my girls to go to school there since before they were born.

My heart breaks more and more everyday as more stories are emerging on the kind of scandal that the Penn State community is just not used to.

The list of people who failed that child grows lengthier by the day. It goes all the way up. All the way to Joe Paterno.

In my house, Joe Paterno was held in higher regard than any other authority figure ever. If Delaney was a boy, her name was going to be Joseph Patrick so that we could use the nickname ‘JoePa’. Steve tried talking me into Josephine Patricia when the ultrasound said ‘girl’ but I vetoed. He was our hero.

I don’t think I can forgive him for the decisions he made and the lack of action he took.

When confronted with the kind of information he was trusted with, he had one responsibility. It wasn’t to the coaching staff or football players. It wasn’t to the alumni or the board of trustees. It was to that child. And he failed. Epically, hugely failed. By not going to the police, he also failed all the children who came after that child. And there were more. While Joe Paterno cannot be held responsible for the actions of those who work under him, he can be held responsible for making the choice to essentially look the other way by passing the buck off to the general manager and then claiming he did his job by informing someone. That someone who then made the decision to also not call the police and to just tell Jerry Sandusky to please stop bringing young boys by the locker room, mmkay?

Hell help you, Mr. Sandusky, had you been found assaulting a 10 year old boy in the locker room by me (or 99% of other parents for that matter). The police would have been called only after you were beaten with whatever large, blunt object was accessible. For anyone presenting the point, ‘well its hard to say what anyone would do in that situation’ are you kidding me? We’re not talking about finding out your boss was involved in some wiretapping scandal or that your accountant was embezzling money from his clients.

We’re talking about finding a grown man assaulting a child in a university locker room.

If you don’t know that the right thing to do in that situation is to at the VERY LEAST call the goddamn police and maybe hey, stop that guy, I have no words for you. This is at the very core of knowing the difference between right and wrong. And so many people in a position of power did not do what was right. Whether this is ‘illegal’ or not, I have no idea. I just know how wrong it is. And my moral compass doesn’t necessarily point in the same direction as a lot of people. So that’s saying something.

The issue here isn’t how sad it is that the reputation of a world class football program with more integrity than most has irreparably damaged. Its that so many people chose to look the other way when a child was being harmed. That’s the real tragedy. That’s the kind of damage that lasts forever.

We are.